Episode Description

The best chance you have at success is being yourself. In this episode, Anisa and Jordan explore how comparison weakens us and how to hone in on the uniqueness that makes you special. The duo pushes us through a journey within the episode, where at the end, we ultimately hope to find what brings the best parts of us out into the world.

Episode Transcript

Jordan Johnson  00:05

You're listening to live a live podcast, a weekly dose of motivation right in your back pocket. I'm Jordan Johnson,

Anisa Johnson  00:12

and I'm Anisa Johnson,

Both  00:14

we're your hosts. 

Jordan Johnson  00:15

Every week, we share thought provoking conversations created to inspire you to bring the best version of you into everything you do. Think of us as the guide as you journey towards realizing your vision of successful and fulfilling life. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, building a business, or dreaming of being a stay at home parent, we're here to help you cultivate passion, purpose, and motivation in your everyday life.

Anisa Johnson  00:46

The success of you today's episode, we are going to be talking about the success of you. And we thought that this was an episode that was super necessary in today's society, because we spend a lot of time looking at the success of other people, and trying to match our success to what other people's success looks like. And we should spend more time defining success for ourselves, and being confident, and, you know, affirmed in ourselves that what we have the vision that we have on our heart, the vision that we have for our life, and for the lives of those around us is worth going after, even if it is outside of the status quo. Even if it doesn't look like the dream that you told yourself you wanted as a kid, even if it doesn't look like the dream that you've been told that you should have. If it is outside of that, if it's something that says that someone might say to you, "you went to school, and now you want to do that?" Even if it is something that doesn't make sense to other people, it is on your heart for a reason. And we believe that when there is something within you when there's something on your heart and on your mind that you can't get out of your mind that you should go for it, because it is a signal that the world needs it.

Jordan Johnson  02:13

Hmm. Man, that's it. That's a powerful, that's a powerful intro. Success of you.

Anisa Johnson  02:22

Yeah, that's what we're gonna talk about today.

Jordan Johnson  02:25

I'm excited, um, lots of meat on that one. For I think even just like the times, now that, you know, there's a, you know, so much that we see in social and TV media, they kind of distract us a bit from our own own uniqueness that kind of paints a specific set of ways, you know, kind of we have to be it's like, if you don't want to those off the shelf ways, then.

Anisa Johnson  03:06

Yeah, it's almost like the the world will tell you that if you don't want this cookie cutter way, if you don't want the status quo, then you're not going to get whatever it is that you that you do want. And you'll, you'll fail. And I think that when you think about the status quo that's like, very, you know, compared I would compare it a lot to comfort, that's the comfort zone, right? And decent things can happen in the comfort zone, but like, great, spectacular things don't happen in the comfort zone. Anybody who you know, is famous or who is a leader in their field, they're not the status quo. A lot of people might not have liked them at some point, because they were doing things differently. But you just you have to put your blinders on and you have to go for what it is that you want. Because we're not in a cookie cutter environment. And if you want something better than average, then you have to do something outside of the status quo.

Jordan Johnson  04:16

Yeah, yeah. And I feel like if you're going to seek out something that is outside of the status quo, like what better place to look then within yourself, because you know I feel like just as a little bit about the times, I feel like in one of the reasons many reasons why we feel like this type of episode around the success of you was was necessary now is because if if, if like if you're not selecting one of these routes, one of the types of versions to be from either society or either one of your friend groups or whatever, then then it's almost like is if you you can't be successful. But that that's actually counterintuitive to a lot of what blueprints have been given to us from from greatness like those individuals have leaned into kind of who they are, how they are, you know what it is of their individualality and, frankly, what's in their heart and in their in their person. So that's a that's a huge reason why I think of us wanting to have this, this particular conversation today for sure.

Anisa Johnson  05:27

And I think one of the things that you said was that without the the times, and I think, one of the, as you were saying, and I thought about how, you know, we live in a consumer economy, and I think a lot of times we equate consumer to buying things. But when you think about the world of social media, and how different social media platforms actually become profitable, and actually make money, it is because you are on their platform, consuming things, right. So even that in and of itself is a consumer economy. So every day we get on our phones, we pick up something we watch TV, and we are consuming, external, we are, we are consuming other people's lives, we're consuming the highlight reel of other people's lives. And that goes into what we think about everything, what we think about where we are in life, what we think about where we are in our career, what we think about where we are, in an entrepreneurial journey, what we think about how we're parenting for those of us who are parents, not me, but like, if you are looking and you're like, Oh, am I doing this wrong? Oh, on, I'm on this, because everybody has an opinion and social media gives everybody a microphone. Yeah, yeah. Pun intended.

Jordan Johnson  06:47

Yeah. Of which we have...

Anisa Johnson  06:49

Yeah. Um, but social media gives everybody a platform and everybody a voice to say what they think to to put out their highlight reel and the good things that are happening in their life and  in a way that can be encouraging to say, Oh, well, if this person can do it, then that means that I can do it. But I do think a lot of times we fall into the trap of trying to mimic other people's success, without thinking about the fact that what makes one person successful, is their uniqueness and who they are. And so we can't just try to copy the way that other people do things and expect to be successful.

Jordan Johnson  07:27

Hmm, yeah. No, for sure. And I think it's a it's a, it's a huge difference. And looking to what other people are doing for reference, versus mimicking? 

Anisa Johnson  07:52

Yeah. What do you mean by that? 

Jordan Johnson  07:55

Well, when you think about it, sense of like trying to mimic what someone else is doing. You don't necessarily all the time get the full picture, right? Like, you don't necessarily maybe know the upbringing that that person had, or that person's health or mental status in some way that is really like made them unique, it has made them like who they are like, I think, you know, about myself, for instance, I think, I think they are a series of things multitude to too many to talk about right now in this episode. But just to kind of summarize it, I think there's a multitude of things that I have experienced, gone through, dealt with, etc. Through life and upbringing that, like, makes me me, it makes me my personality makes makes the set of principles that I have to approach things and attack things in that way. So if you try to mimic something from someone, though, like you, you can almost like never mimic that though. Like you can't mimic their their upbringing, you can't mimic their uniqueness. You can't mimic their character, if that makes sense.

Anisa Johnson  09:04

Absolutely. You can only mimic what you see. And I do think on, particularly on social media in the world of content creation, like if you copy somebody, people are gonna know, like, people might not figure it out, like immediately. But there are a lot of people who see successful content creators, successful leaders successful influencers, and they want what they have. So they will just simply mimic the output. And rather than mimicking the output, some of the things that you can take from people who are successful is their process. Yeah, right. You know, you can take that they do things a certain way and that they have a certain, you know, cadence of putting out content and things like that. And I'm referring to social media so much because I think it's such a major influence in our society. Millennials spend about four to five hours a day on social media. So you're spending four to five hours a day on social media, of just like looking at the highlight reel of other people's lives. And that can have a huge impact on how you show up in real life, maybe how you show up on social media. But I do think it has an impact on how we show up in real life. And I think that's where the disconnect is, is that we look because we spend what's three to four hours? What's four, what is that a sixth of the day? I don't? What's my math? You're better at math than I am? 

Jordan Johnson  10:39

It's like a sixth. 

Anisa Johnson  10:40

Okay? Yes. All right. I'm a sixth of our day, and whatever else, that's just social media that doesn't have anything to do with like, the TV that we're watching, or the music that we're listening to sleep, or the fact that you sleep, right. So your waking hours, what is that 16 to 25% of your waking hours, if you get eight hours of sleep, I don't know who's getting eight hours of sleep, but if you are a shout out you and good for you. But 25% of our waking hours are spent consuming other people's lives.

Jordan Johnson  11:11

Yeah, dang. I've never thought about it that way. Whoa. 25% of our waking hours are spent consuming other people's lives. Dang.

Anisa Johnson  11:25

And I think in a way it could be a positive if you are depending on who you're connected with on social media and who you're who you're seeing. Right. And it also depends on like, what you're thinking, but also it's 25%. of your day. Yeah. 25%.

Jordan Johnson  11:44

That's somewhat a  Terrifying. Yeah. You took the words right out my mouth, that is somewhat terrifying. But also it's like, it's interesting, even think about what we're like, how much is that dampening what we as individuals can put into the world and the good that we can do, right? Like you think about the huge innovations in art and culture and business, etc. Do we think those were happening by spending a fourth? I don't know for sure. But if I could just make a hypothesis, right. The it seems like a lot of the your huge impacts that have been made in the world. Like, you know, think about the internal inspiration that comes from those of drawing from, you know, what it is, and some people call it like quirkiness about people. I mean, I'm gonna disclose this, I mean, I may or may not have been be called a dork at times, by my lovely wife, which, frankly, I take it as like a compliment, though, of like, whatever your quirks or like your quirkiness is, or the, you know, kind of like, off beat things about ourselves. Like, that's, like, That's power and inspiration and beauty. And, you know, value that's value for this world is value for the people around you and as value for the people that are further extended from you. And like we kind of eat into that a bit when we spend so much of our time, like looking elsewhere,

Anisa Johnson  11:47


Jordan Johnson  13:32

When the riches, like the rich, we have the riches, like you have the riches and I'm, I'm looking across the table at you, but I'm speaking to everyone that is consuming this and our listeners to you. You have the riches.

Anisa Johnson  13:49

I just had to let that breathe. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's within you. And I think that there's a lot that goes into going after what you want, and breaking out of the status quo. And a lot of times it can be scary. And you can doubt yourself, because if you're spending 25% of your day. You know, looking at what other people are doing, then you're gonna doubt what you're doing. You're gonna be maybe insecure about where you are and wondering, are you far enough on your journey? Are you doing the right thing? Did you major in the right thing? Did I did I? No, I didn't. Did I major in the right thing? Did I did I you know, get the right first job out of college did I do all of these things and could I have been further along if I had made a different choice? And I feel like we spend a lot of time thinking about what could have been rather than just accepting where we are and knowing that like it It's not too late. If you're still breathing, it's not too late for you to just decide who you want to be and become them.

Jordan Johnson  15:08

Yeah, what do you want to be known for, and become that, like in in and you hit the nail on the head of which we will, I'm sure talk more about at some later episode, but like deciding is like that first step of deciding, you know who you are what it is that you want to, you want to be known for. But like that, that does lead to a lot of doubt, as you say, like, I think, you know, I've experienced that for sure in, in doubting the things that I wanted to do, I felt like I was capable of doing because I was, you know, having so many external sources that I was, you know, looking at comparing to, and that's tough, I feel like it weakens us to a degree like it's, it's almost like if you spend - it's almost like something you're suffering from. Of like, if you're spending, you know, so much time consuming other people's lives, it's like you're the truest version of like who you are is like suffering from that?

Anisa Johnson  16:13

Absolutely. You're absolutely getting watered down because you are being so influenced by everything that you're consuming. And also wanting to emulate that or like wanting to emulate a particular image on social media, because you want people to think about you in a certain way or in a certain light. And, you know, depending on, I believe that there's a difference between curation, there is a there's a thin line between being authenticity, and something that is curated. So I think a lot of times we will look at like people on social media, and they'll just kind of like discount it. And they'll say, Well, it's just this curated, highlight reel of someone's life. That is true. But that doesn't mean that there are not bits and pieces of authenticity in that space. And there are some people who are very good at curating things that are authentic. And I think that if we all could be vulnerable and authentic with what it is that we curate, externally, then the world would be a better place. Because we would be able to have moments of vulnerability within control, and not just like emotionally dumping on people, but like, moments of vulnerability that say, like, this is something that is happening, or I'm working through this, or whatever it is, and you can control what vulnerability looks like for you, particularly in an online space. I think that that's important. But also doing it in a way where you're sharing and curating things in a way that you know, could help somebody who might be or have been where you are. Does that makes sense? And I think that when you are going after something, and I feel like I'm derailing our episode, I know we have notes, but I'm like, just like,

Jordan Johnson  18:12

Throw the notes aside. Give it to 'em

Anisa Johnson  18:15

I'm derailing the episode. But when you are in a place where you have something on your heart, it requires you to be vulnerable, in a way, because you have to step outside of the status quo, you have to show people that you are different. And it might not be in a way that traditionally you've been told as a good different, right. You know, traditionally, you might have been told, Oh, you're you're a dork. And you're this and you're kind of a weirdo and like, well, whatever, like, Bill Gates is probably a dork too. And, you know, dudes rich, right? I think that they're exposing that uniqueness in you and just leaning into it and being 100% of who you are. It's scary, because there are definitely going to be people who judge you because you're not going to do everything right. Oh, well! You have the courage to do things in front of other people. Hmm. Which is more than we can say about most people. Right? And that that's, that's kind of the big thing here. When you talk about going after something that you want, you can't do it without the truest version of yourself.

Jordan Johnson  19:41

I'm so glad you did not follow those notes. Because because that was amazing. I don't think we had the intention to go down necessarily like a vulnerability lane but I'm glad that it's come out because it's, it's absolutely huge. Like how can you expect to be the best version of yourself? If you're not if you not vulnerable. But in contrast, like it, though, the world makes us have to be vulnerable to be ourselves because you hit this earlier. And you talked about that comfort zone, the comfort area is being what is one of those selected off the shelf, things that you're intended to be right, it's kind of that subscription to whatever it is that you're being moved to be like, from your friend group, from media from social, and all these other external inputs. Like that's comfort, that's not necessarily making you vulnerable, because it's, it's comfort, that best version of you that authenticity of who you are, that is vulnerability. And like stepping into that vulnerability, it's like it's such a paradox, because it's, it's so powerful at the same time. And, yeah, I just couldn't imagine a version of myself. That is true. Without without being vulnerable. I'll give you an example for because I think we've talked a bit about like social and online like even like an external spaces, right. And like being comfortable enough to be uncomfortable in a sense of like being yourself even around like your friend groups. And so I probably get some flack for this from whoever hears it. From like, friend groups, too, but like, I've always thought of myself as like an individual was cool. Wow, you laughing at me. So I told him, I'm already getting flack for this. 

Anisa Johnson  21:36

No, you are for I know, you've always been cool, but I have not so

Jordan Johnson  21:40

but here's here's a reason, though, it is not because you know, and I'll caveat it with this. I don't do a bunch of cool things. That's not why I'm saying

Anisa Johnson  21:49

We called you a dork earlier.

Jordan Johnson  21:50

Right. Right. Right. So it's like, it's this paradox. It's like saying that I fully step into being a dork and being cool at the same time. That's a paradox that we're really proudly is because, like I said, I don't do a bunch of cool stuff, but it's just it's a vulnerability of just being able to say like, Okay, I think this is me, I think I feel cool. So hey, I'm gonna say that I'm cool.

Anisa Johnson  22:16

And like an act on that, and be that and be that and it's not even like you're acting cool. It's that people see you being you. And like, dang, he's cool.

Jordan Johnson  22:27

I think that's the thing that I was trying to get across on what you said so much better. Is like that like, just being yourself because like, I know I'm actually a dork but I'm me. So I'm cool.

Anisa Johnson  22:40

Yeah. And you're good with you. Yeah. Whether people want to call you a dork or people want to call you cool. You're like well I'm me. I'm

Jordan Johnson  22:48

I'm good with that and I spent enough time in the gym if somebody had a problem with you we can have conversation

Anisa Johnson  22:57

was that a threat? You heard it here ladies and gentlemen. Jordan Johnson threatens anybody who has a problem with him being a dork.

Jordan Johnson  23:07

But there's like in all seriousness is like a there's like a real tangible external example that goes into that too. I feel like you know, there's sections of my life where I've tried to like fit in and run along with like even in social settings my friends whether it's like I'm not gonna you know, we were so off script right now. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna run this down to other episodes I know we'll talk about but just for a brief example I'm like even being out in social settings and you know, wanting to spend in a way that like other people are spending from a bar tab perspective and stuff when I actually don't have it. I don't have it like there's been moments where I've thought about like man like I am I know I do not have the financial means to be doing this but the friend group is doing it so I'm going to do it I'm going to stretch myself and that's that's just forcing myself to suffer for like no reason.

Anisa Johnson  24:07

Well, and why is it forcing you to suffer for no reason I think outside of the maybe financial status and ability to fund those types of activities. Is there something that within you is directly conflicting with that lifestyle? And do you think that has a part to do with it?

Jordan Johnson  24:38

Yeah, there's something directly in me and and even outside of me from you know my immediate world of like, what I believe to be important, etc. Like what I believe to be of true value, right? So I think that's, you know, those opportunities to lean into like who you are and like what you're feeling and I think those are some opportunities. Giving myself just using myself as an example where I missed that on several occasions to just like, either put myself in financial strains and back myself into financial corners, not leaning into what I believed that I knew was my where my thoughts were my uniqueness I did not necessarily have that at the time I didn't have those thoughts, I didn't necessarily maybe have those desires where maybe I didn't even want to be where we were. You know. So that's, that's an extreme aspect of vulnerability that we have a opportunity to lean into and change. And you can take that same blueprint and apply that to that same scenario, and apply that to work you're doing, really, it's something that you may not want to be doing with who you're doing it with, you can apply that to social settings, or this not being wanting to necessarily be where you are doing what you're doing. It's a real opportunity to lean into the richness of the truth of ourselves and the truth of like, you know, who we are in going that way?

Anisa Johnson  26:04

Oh, my gosh, I'm obsessed. I know, we're off script, but I feel like this is fantastic. Cool. I mean, we're off script, but I don't think we are, are we?

Jordan Johnson  26:13

Um, well. I mean, our overall why is to, you know, encourage everybody to live alive. Right. And so I don't think we're ultimately off off script, right in the, that does lead me to a couple of thoughts that I wanted to just kind of, like, entertain around, you know, what, you know, makes people unique, like we have all of these, you know, things within us like that. richness that that you have, again, I'm speaking to the "you's" on the other side of these, this audio. Everybody's heard this saying before, like, you know, everyone else is taken. So why not be yourself? I wish I could take credit for that I forget where I don't know where that started. But you know, a lot of people heard it, but it was useful to say, because I just feel like there's so many things within us that make us special. Like for example, like your thoughts, you know, the dreams that you have like your ambitions, like whatever it is that you think is whatever it whatever it is that even that you would classify as cool is not something that somebody else would classify as cool. That's uniqueness. Like, that's special. And I think that there's like, something so powerful, with like taking the time to take inventory for yourself of like your own uniqueness. And I think you could almost interchange uniqueness and make it synonymous with value here like you, you have to take time to examine the value that you have. And if you don't, if you don't take that time, I think it makes it so much easier to end up suffering from this, this suction of just being consumed with everyone else's life.

Anisa Johnson  28:07

Wow. Well, I think it's scary, it can be very scary to spend time with yourself, and to look at what it is that you want. And to sometimes realize that, oh shoot, for the past 10 years, I've been going after something that I didn't really want. And that is scary. And that's another level of vulnerability. But we'll get to that in another. In another episode. We've talked about vulnerability, but I think it's just very interesting to, to sit with yourself and to sit with your thoughts. It is a very vulnerable thing. And you might try to take your mind somewhere else you might try to judge yourself for thinking that you want to, you know, change what it is that you're doing change the path that you're on. That can be scary, but that scary, uncomfortable moment is totally worth having versus 30 years from now, sitting on your porch in a rocking chair, has talked about the rocking, we talked about the rocking chair test, looking back on your life and not liking what you did. Not being proud of it. And so, I think when we talk to you who's listening to this episode, I don't care if you're a millennial spending a quarter of your day your waking hours on social media or your 40 years old are yours 60 years old, if you are still breathing, you still have time to do what it is that's on your heart.

Jordan Johnson  30:11

Man. I just - can I clap? I'm gonna clap a little bit in you. And you have to accept that though in the end. And I think that's, I think that's our armor. In a way, figuratively speaking, of course, I think that's our armor for our own success, our success of you our success of ourselves, I think, I think to a degree, that's our, our armor of accepting this about us this our uniqueness, our special thoughts, our special dreams of, of who it is we want to be. And whenever that acceptance happen, as you says, like, whenever that acceptance happens, whether it's in your 20s, in your 30s, and your 40s, and your 50s, and your 60s, in your 70s, your 80s or 90s, Lord willing, you get a chance to see 102, and you make that time for your chance to accept this, whatever it is, and you accept that uniqueness of yourself. I think that's huge. That's your armor, and your equipment, your fighting sense for the world. To say that like this is what's special about me, I know what my dreams are, I know what my ambitions are. I've accepted that there's something special in me, and you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna bring that out to the world. I'm gonna walk out there with that. That's so good.

Anisa Johnson  31:40

So how do I know what it is that is special about me or what it is that I should be doing to create the success of me?

Jordan Johnson  31:54

So that's a great question. To me, I think it's comes down to a couple, like, really, really simple things. And I think this is maybe an action for all of us. Like what what are what are some of the things that excite you? You know, what brings the what brings the best part of you out in out into the world and in how can you do more of that? Right, I'm gonna say that one more time. So people have it to catch as as like a go forward like, think about it. Like what? What makes those hairs on your arm? Like what the back of your neck stand up? What excites you? And what brings the best parts of you out into the world? And it's in that that's those moments where you feel like you're floating, you're glad and you don't recall the steps you took, but you know, you made it to the destination. What are those things that bring the best parts of you out into the world? And how can you do more of that?

Anisa Johnson  33:03

Thanks for listening to today's episode. We hope that it leaves you feeling inspired to actively pursue your goals and live alive, whatever that means to you. If you enjoy today's episode, tell us what you think by leaving a review. Reviews help more people like you discover the podcast. I'm Anisa Johnson.

Jordan Johnson  33:21

And I'm Jordan Johnson.

Anisa Johnson  33:23

We'll see you next time on live alive podcast

John Carter

Entrepreneur & Podcaster

Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non.